Technique 45: Warm/Strict

(Part of chapter 7, "Building Character and Trust")

Warmth and strictness are not mutually exclusive.  A teacher can be warm or cold, strict or lax.  Some are cold and lax.  The best are warm and strict.

[Y]ou must be both: caring, funny, warm, concerned, and nurturing -- and also strict, by the book, relentless, and sometimes, inflexible. [...] It's not, "I care about you, but you still must serve the consequence for being late," but, "Because I care about you, you must serve the consequence for being late." (p 213)

When a teacher is firm and loving, the message is that you care about the student and about their attaining excellence.  You indicate that "having high expectations is part of caring for and respecting someone."

Some quick ideas:

• Explain to students why you're doing what you are.  (See Explain Everything, coming up.)
• Distinguish between behavior and people.  ("You are doing well", not "You are good.")
• Demonstrate that consequences are temporary.  Never hold a grudge.
• Use warm, nonverbal behavior.  E.g., put your arm on someone's shoulder when you deliver bad news (the student having to redo an assignment).

 My response:

I think this may be one of the most important techniques in this book -- surely in the top 10.  As a professor at a smallish Christian college, this is exactly how I want me students to remember my classroom.